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And even just the way God wired us. So one of mine it's not strength finders, Courtney, but I have a high value for balance in my life. Right? Like, I don't wanna be, like, this crazy exerciser that's, like, 2 hours a day. Right? But I just need my study. I'm gonna exercise 3 times a week. You know, that kind of thing. And my daughter, when she was younger, man, she loved football. Football, football. She wanted every, like, book about it. She would read about it. She knew every detail about all these players and the stats and, like, she was deep diving. And in my mind, I was like, this is not balanced. This is so over the top. This is like is this an obsession? Like, do I, you know, do I need to, like, shape this a little bit? And it was like the Lord just showed me, like, that that was actually pretty judgmental, and I needed to understand that she was wired differently. Mhmm. And she was a person who had this deep dive need. Right? She was gonna be the expert on the topic, and and that was different for me. And I thought, wow. Like, I had I mean, maybe shamed her a little bit. I don't think so. I mean, I but but, you know, it was like, woah. You know, you can say little things that make her think she shouldn't be that way until I felt like the Lord corrected me on that. And I could then call out, wow. This is how I called it out. You really love to know a lot about one topic. You're gonna be somebody that people rely on for having deep knowledge about specific things, and that's gonna be a really important role that you play in the world. What a different perspective I had on her knowledge of football then. Yes. I love that. And even listening to her, it sounds exactly like she even might have the strength of learner. Right? Learners love to learn. And when they're
Of having the connected family's parent coaches on the podcast. And this is your first time, so we're glad to have you. And, you know, this podcast episode today is a little bit of the content that you spoke at a workshop at our parent's summit here in Minnesota. So we're excited to share it with our greater audience. Josh, are you a youth pastor right now, or were you? I was. Yeah. I was for the better part of 18, 18 years or so. And then was a care pastor and now I'm a spiritual life director and advancement director at a Christian school in Wilmer, Minnesota. Working with all the kids is where all the laughs comes from and the light hearted. Yeah. And, Rachel, you're a therapist. So you bring the brain science, don't you? Yeah. Sometimes. Also, the last, I think. Right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. You love to laugh. Too, but that's gonna be good. Okay. I have a quick question for you guys. Which connected families tool is your favorite? I think when we first went through our coaching with Chad, It was clear that we both probably needed to slow down, get low and listen. So slow low and listen has been some He was claiming that for you, Rachel. Yeah. I heard that. That's just changed. It's changed a lot for us. And what's so interesting is I've even had couples that I've coached that said, if we would have just even had that tool, maybe we may be wondering if you even had to go through the coaching process because that changed so much of our relationship with our kids. Good. So I'm so grateful for that too. Yeah. Well, hey, everybody. Just a quick heads up. Pay attention at the break in today's episode because we have a brand new product that's called quick guide for parenting cards. That's like quick sheets for you to hear, learn about the things, or remind yourself of those things like slow, low, and listen. So just a big heads up. Alright. Here's my first question to you, Rachel. I read your bio in the beginning of the podcast, and the 2 of you have a big idea. And your big idea is this
But it it takes a lot of time. But the the feeling safe enough to say, hey, you're interrupting me, believing that you would be able to receive that and alter your approach, maybe a little bit? Is that maybe a form of safety in in that situation? Yeah, I think so. I think the work that I have done doesn't mean I've got it figured out. But the work that I have done so far has communicated to my kids, hey, there's some receptivity here. There's some humility in daddy that we can communicate together and and work as a team. He's not gonna make it all about himself and and shut me down. So this is, such a good conversation, and I appreciate, both of your insights here. We're gonna take a a quick break, and, we'll come back on the other side of the break and pick up maybe a little bit more about what are we what are we gonna do here? How do we wanna grow in this area as well as where's this biblical piece for this safety thing that we're talking about. So we'll see on the other side. Do you love yourself a good cheat sheet? Or have you ever purchased a short form book, you know, the very abbreviated version of the longer nonfiction book? Well, I confess, I am a huge fan of reading and books. I've got a bunch of them, but I have purchased a short form book before. Well, if you do like that kind of thing, I think you're going to love the new product that our team put together. We put together a set of cards that gives a digestible summary of our 11 core teaching tools. It's called the connected families quick guide for parenting. It gives simple, practical reminders of the connected families toolbox. Each card is a different tool. You could keep these 11 cards in a diaper bag or your mom bag or the car side pocket or maybe even on your kitchen window sill. Okay. You get it. And you might need more than 1. Right? They're less than $10. Tap through to the show notes, you can find them. But these cards are really hand
Life and you taught us so much. This book that you just released and you wrote, it's called just in case you ever feel alone. It's for all of the kids. It's available anywhere that you buy books. I have a request for you, pastor Max. Will you read a few stanzas at the end of our podcast today? I'll be happy to. I sure will. I feel like a little kid going to bed at night. Like, read the story to me, grandpa. Awesome. Well, this book is about loneliness, and I just wanna read a couple of statistics, and then I've got a few questions to ask you. So according to recent statistics, 61% of Americans report often feeling lonely. And a study published by the National Institute of Health concluded that 80 percent of those under 18 are lonely. Those are staggering statistics and really they mean we're all lonely. Adults, kids, all of us, and it's growing. Okay. Here's my first question to you. You're a father and a grandfather. How do you suggest handling conversations about loneliness when our kids are little, and why is that so important to start when they're young? Loneliness is more than just being alone. It's a feeling alone. You know, you can be surrounded by people in a football stadium and feel lonely. You're not physically alone, but you you feel alone. Maybe you feel that there's nobody on your side. Maybe you feel that nobody cares about you. Maybe you feel that you're marginalized because of who you are or or some decisions that you've made. So why do we need to be able to be on the lookout for this in in the lives of I have a, you know, a 3 year old granddaughter, a a 6 year old grandson, a 9 year old granddaughter. I have a 6 month
Salvation. Our sin brings death to ourselves, our and the whole world. But when we ask Jesus to forgive our sins, then like Jesus' resurrection, we come alive too. We are not defined by our sin. We are defined by Jesus' perfect life because of his love for us. Only Jesus could rise from the dead, and only Jesus can give you life. I would say to to my tween to move into that belonging language. Tell them that the resurrection graciously gives us a promise of life connected to an everlasting family. It's beyond our natural family. Easter is an opportunity to lean into these truths for the freedom we have from our shame and to receive the abundant life and the secure belonging with God's family. Jesus overcame death with a new and glorious life that we might share in this if we trust his word. John 14 1 through 3 tells us, let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in me. It's Jesus talking. In my father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and I will take you to myself, that where I am, you may also be. I'm about to cry. Such good news, Stacey, for me and for my kids. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's beautiful for us at any age, but, you know, thinking about heaven. But as a tween teen, thinking about that belonging and where do I belong, Jesus says, I have a room in my house for you. We know he's talking about heaven there. He's also asking them. Right? Will you make room in your heart for me? Whoo. That would be a great little add on then to the conversation with our kids. Well